Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
