Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
