even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
