So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
