Fuck appropriateness.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
