it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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