the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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