Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
