My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
