id be glad to
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
