I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
