Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
