why didn't you poke me back
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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