Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
