The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
