yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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