Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
