I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
