All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
