were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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