I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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