...so i touched it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
