Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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