Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
