Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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