I murdered the dance floor call the cops
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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