i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
