Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
