obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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