There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
