i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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