Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
