is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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