Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
