I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
