I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
