His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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