Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
