Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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