i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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