she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
