Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
