best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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