Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
