margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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