i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
