so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
