Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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