Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
