all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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