she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
