So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
