The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
